


time is just a war stealing dreams from within

by EmilyKaldwin



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, give cassandra a hug 2k17, im not creative so i rewrite scenes with the whole dialogue lifted from it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 22:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11217612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyKaldwin/pseuds/EmilyKaldwin
Summary: On this night, Percy announces his next enemy to Cassandra and her world breaks again.Happens during episode 101, a look at Cassandra's feelings as her nightmares come back





	time is just a war stealing dreams from within

It had become something of a ritual, Cassandra absentmindedly thought to herself, this pouring over numbers and grievances with her cup of evening tea after darkness had fallen on Whitestone. She used to work on the small desk inside her room, but the sense of grandeur permeating the castle’s empty dining hall seemed to help her entrance herself into her work, and the two stories tall window on the northern wall gave her an inspiring view of the moonlight on the castle grounds.

 

She was about to turn a page in her current tome and reached for her teacup, but out of the corner of her eye she glimpsed a flash of deep blue against the stone floor, and lifted her head to see her brother, _strolling in at an ungodly hour as usual_ she thought with an internal smile. Her mind still swimming with numbers, she tried to focus back to her ingrained manners:

 

“Oh! Er, hello everyone! Ah, er-“ _Compose yourself, silly girl_ the voice of her father ran through her mind as she fixed her robe in an attempt to be presentable, still trying to cajole her brain into letting go of her previous occupation. She could see now the somber faces of Percy and his companions, and wondered what could have happened this time. “So! Uh, we’ve, uh, I’ve got the assistance of Eskil Ryndarien, uh, everyone else seems to be a bit… busy at the moment? Uh, but Allura is doing the best she can research on her end as well, um…”

 

As the words fumbled from her mouth, she met the eyes of her brother and reeled back at their intensity. “We’re going to need everybody. It’s worse than we could have imagined”, he told her somberly.

 

As Cassandra tried to form an answer, Vex’ahlia jumped in: “And we’ve got far less time than we would have imagined.” Sensing the urgency of their words, Cassandra spoke back, biting back the slight shake in her voice, “How much time do we have?”

 

Percy, still looking at her intently, clenched his jaw and spoke back “This has to be taken care of. Immediately.” “Things are happening now”, Vax’ildan jumped in, and as everyone’s gazes fell upon her she felt like a clumsy regent again, never able to protect her city or do anything properly, how could she think she’d be able to rule-

 

“W-well you have far better means of acquiring these people than I do! I can merely send missives of request, I-“, but Percy lifted his hand in a calming manner and stopped her in her tracks. “We’re going to need to send word out, but I need you to-“, at that he took out one of his many pocket flasks and set it on the table next to her teacup, “just, sit down for a moment?”.

 

Doubtful, she nevertheless nodded and poured some of his “liquid courage” in her still steaming cup. “Is Eskil Ryndarien here?” Vex’ahlia spoke up, and Cassandra composed herself. “He is! He’s down there currently, uh, inspecting the ziggurat, setting his notes up where had previously set up our research quarters, during the incursion of the conclave-“ but at that both Vex’ahlia and Keyleth spoke up, the former saying under her breath that they needed to get everyone away from it and leaving for the catacombs and the later asking about where Allura was. She replied confusedly that she was still in Emon, and answered the same to Vax’ildan’s inquiry about Gilmore, but she could see them all starting to talk over each other and trying to come up with incoherent plans as usual. As she tried to keep up with the conversation, Percy took her arm softly, holding her teacup in his other hand and his flask hanging from his hip again, and whispered to her “I need to talk to you about something, and I think you’d rather be in private to hear it. Can we go to your room?” With a small nod, she walked away from the bickering Vox Machina.

 

As she sat at her desk, teacup in hand, she could see her brother was standing up straighter than usual, seemingly bracing himself against the unpleasant news he had to deliver. “Er… have a bit of that flask” he told her at first, and nodding she brought the fragrant tea to her lips, but without waiting he spilled the words out, “We found a second ziggurat-“

 

Her lips left the teacup. _Another ziggurat?_ Memories of the terrible pyramid lying under her castle clouded her mind, but still Percy kept on going:

 

“We found a cult… that is moving things through it. That cult was being led-“

 

He sighed, and the world shattered around her.

 

“By Delilah Briarwood”

 

Invisible knives under her skin. A blood-red smile as she cried in pain. The cold touch of her hand on her hair, combing lovingly over wounds she inflicted. The whispers at the back of her mind, calling her Cassandra Briarwood, telling her to embrace her new parents, to hate, to fear, to love-

 

She heard the teacup smash on the floor before she felt its absence in her hand. Trying to ground herself, she pulled it back into a fist, until her knuckles were as white as _her_ skin. It couldn’t be, _she_ couldn’t be, she _killed_ her, she saw her dead, she was _free_ , this couldn’t be-

 

Her brother’s voice interrupted her spiraling thoughts: “She escaped into the ziggurat, so she’s no longer on this plane of existence, but some form of her, whether it’s undead or otherwise, is going to- w-we’re going to need to put it down again” Cassandra could feel him shake too, his brave brother who had thought he could stop running, and she swallowed back the bile that stuck inside her throat to answer back softly, still staring into nothing, “Yes. Yes we do.”

 

“I wanted you to hear from me. There will be no running this time.” She knew he was trying to get her to look at him, but she still couldn’t, couldn’t take her mind off her terrible memories. Still, she whispered back, “No running.”

 

“Not from me.” The steel in his voice helped her shake off her growing numbness, and she lifted her eyes to meet his gaze, hating herself for being a scared child again as she told him pleadingly, “You’ll take care of her?” Now she could see the determination in his eyes, but also the fear that also had its claws inside her heart. “This is the end of her. I will be there to see it”.

 

 _But you thought that before didn’t you?_ She could remember _her_ rituals, toying with life and death, and shook her head anxiously. “She’s escaped death before once already, who knows how many times she has before. Y-“, she took a deep breath for seemingly the first time since the conversation started, ”you have to end it.”

 

Percy sighed, and spoke up reassuringly “We will discover what she did, we will find a way, w-“ but he didn’t know, he didn’t _know_ what she could do, he had no idea what she witnessed in secret during those dark years, he had to _understand_ , “Don’t destroy her body, destroy _everything she is._ ” She couldn’t see if that was pity or sadness in his eyes as he nodded softly and answered back, “If we can’t kill her we’ll trap her forever.”

 

But that _wasn’t enough_ , couldn’t he _see_ ? “Shatter the soul, whatever it takes, _end her, brother_ ”, she stared intently at him as she mustered all the power she could put behind those words, and felt slight relief as he responded “I know. I shall.”

 

Suddenly drained of her energy, Cassandra looked around for an anchor and spotted the almost full flask still on her desk. With shaking hands, she threw her head back and downed the amber liquid, molten rock flowing down her throat and drowning her senses. As she took a moment to gather her breath back, she saw out of the corner of her eye Percy regaining his composure and putting his unfazed noble mask back on. “I wanted you to hear it from me so you could… _compose_  yourself when other people begin to tell you”, he spoke in his regular, distant tone, and she could feel the weight of appearances coming back to her shoulders, _sit up straight don’t show how you feel, everyone is counting on you_.

 

Willing her tears to retreat, she handed him back his now lighter flask, whispering with a small nod, “I-I need a moment please.”

 

Refusing to look at Formal Percy, she heard him whisper back “Of course”, and start to head towards her door. Right before leaving, however, he turned back and said, “They’re going to need us to be the strongest. I have faith in you… I’ll leave you to it, I’m _so sorry._ ”

 

As he shut the door behind him, his words still ringing inside her mind, she muttered “I’m going to be sick” and tried to focus her eyes on the remains of the cup on her tea-stained floor, her tears creeping back into her eyes and visions of _her_ clouding her sight every time she closed them.

 

They had to end her. She had to see her dead.

 

Cassandra laid back against the chair and prepared herself for a nightmares-filled night.

**Author's Note:**

> Title lifted from Best Is Yet To Come by Red.  
> I'm starting the Give Cassandra de Rolo a Hug Task Force; sorry if this is short I had to get it out of my system.


End file.
